I know who god is 09-24
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
The first Man? 09-24
A teacher said to her class: "Who was the first man?" “George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly. "How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently. "Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen." But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. "Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?" "I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
What does DC stand for? 09-24
An American teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?"The reply was "Washington DC"On being asked what the "DC" stood for, the pupils all answered："Dot com!"
Sooner or later 09-24
A thief with a long record was brought before the judge. Judge: Have you ever stolen things? Thief: Oh, now and then. Judge: And where have you stolen these things? Thief: Oh, here and there. Judge: Right. Lock him up, officer. Thief: Hey, when do I get out jail? Judge: Oh, sooner or later.
A Second Language 09-24
A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."
Chief is at the wedding 09-24
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back." "But ,officer, I ...." "I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!" A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Why he couldn't leave? 09-24
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room.""Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
A burglar 09-24
A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before."You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant."No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."
One more cake 09-24
The old lady was delighted with the gift the boy and brought her."I'll go round and see your mother tomorrow," she said, "And I'll thank for this lovely pie.""Um, if you don't mind," the boy said nervously, "could you thank her for two pies?"
Whose Head Have You Got On 09-24
A little girl's grandfather had a long beard, but one morning he shaved it off.When he came down to breakfast, the little girl cried, "Grandpa! Whose head have you got on?".